Episode 123
123 - 3 Secrets To A Happy, Lasting Marriage
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Feeling disconnected in a relationship can be tough. This episode of the Anger Secrets podcast dives into how couples can bridge that gap. Host Alastair Duhs shares three essential steps to create a happier, lasting marriage.
By implementing these steps, couples can build a strong foundation for love and respect in their marriage, no matter what else is going on.
Key Takeaways:
- In this episode, listeners will discover three essential steps to achieving a happy marriage.
- Controlling anger is crucial for effective communication and connection between partners.
- Effective communication starts with understanding your partner, not just expressing your own views.
- Spending time together weekly can strengthen relationships, promoting positive emotions and connection.
- Practicing daily check-ins helps couples feel more connected and improve overall relationship quality.
- Learning to manage conflict healthily can prevent relationship breakdowns and promote better understanding.
Links referenced in this episode:
For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.
To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.
Transcript
Do you feel like your partner doesn't understand you anymore?
Speaker A:Are you tired of feeling like you're speaking two different languages even when you're trying to make things right?
Speaker A:Or maybe you're exhausted from having the same arguments over and over and wondering if things will ever get better.
Speaker A:What if I told you that it doesn't have to be this way?
Speaker A:What if there were simple yet powerful techniques that could end the arguments and bring you closer together that than ever before?
Speaker A:In this episode of the Anger Secrets podcast, you will learn the top three steps I have taught thousands of clients to create and maintain calmer, happier and more loving marriages.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome to episode 123 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Alistair Dews.
Speaker A:Over the last 30 years, I've taught over 15,000 men and women how to control their anger, master their emotions, and build calmer, happier and more respectful relationships.
Speaker A:In this podcast, I share some of the same powerful tools and techniques that have helped my clients transform their lives.
Speaker A:For free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website, angersecrets.com I'd be honoured to support you in taking control of your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Now let's jump into today's episode 3 Secrets to a Happy, Lasting Marriage.
Speaker A:As someone who has helped thousands of men and women control their anger and create happier, more loving marriages, I believe there are three essential steps to making marriage work.
Speaker A:Of course, there are many other components of a successful marriage, but these three steps form the backbone of any successful marriage.
Speaker A:Let's explore these three steps.
Speaker A:Manage Conflict well, let me ask you, have you ever found yourself in an argument and before you knew it, things got way more heated than you expected?
Speaker A:If so, you're not alone.
Speaker A:Conflict is inevitable in almost every marriage.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:Conflict isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Speaker A:In fact, it can be healthy.
Speaker A:It allows couples to work through issues, express their feelings, and even bond.
Speaker A:But this is crucial.
Speaker A:The key to managing conflict well is to ensure it doesn't become hostile or aggressive.
Speaker A:When anger, abuse or violence enter the conversation, resolving issues becomes nearly impossible.
Speaker A:And if left unchecked, anger, aggression and hostility can quickly lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Speaker A:That's why learning to control anger is absolutely vital.
Speaker A:I've shared practical tips and strategies on how to do this before.
Speaker A:But if you're really struggling with anger, there's one solution that stands out as the simplest, fastest and most effective way to get it under control.
Speaker A:And that's my comprehensive online course, the Complete Anger Management System.
Speaker A:In this course, I will teach you the skills you need to control your anger, master your emotions, and create calmer, happier and more loving relationships, no matter what situation you're in or how intense your anger feels.
Speaker A:To learn more about the Complete Anger Management System, Visit my website, angersecrets.com but for now, remember, learning to control your anger is the first and most essential step to making any marriage work.
Speaker A:Learn to Communicate Effectively Learning to communicate effectively Sounds simple enough.
Speaker A:But if it's so simple, why do so many couples struggle with communication?
Speaker A:Here's what I've Most people were never taught how to communicate effectively.
Speaker A:It's a skill just like any other, and it takes time and practice to get good at it.
Speaker A:Some people are naturally better at communicating than others, but the good news is that everyone can learn to communicate more effectively.
Speaker A:So what's the secret to good communication?
Speaker A:This might surprise you.
Speaker A:It's not about getting your point across.
Speaker A:The first step to effective communication is learning to understand what your partner is trying to say.
Speaker A:That's where something called active listening comes in.
Speaker A:I've discussed active listening in detail in previous episodes of this podcast, but here's the gist.
Speaker A:Active listening is about fully focusing on what your partner is saying when without interrupting or thinking about your response.
Speaker A:When you truly listen, you have better conversations and understand each other on a deeper level.
Speaker A:Alright, let's move on to the third and final step, practicing what I like to call the Magic six hours.
Speaker A:Now, this idea isn't mine.
Speaker A:It was developed by relationship expert Dr.
Speaker A:John Gottman, and it's a powerful but simple concept that can keep relationships strong and loving for decades.
Speaker A:Here's how it works.
Speaker A:The Magic six Hours idea is all about how you spend your time together as a couple.
Speaker A:According to Dr.
Speaker A:Gottman, the secret to lasting love is spending about six hours per week doing activities that build positive emotions and connection with each other.
Speaker A:It sounds simple, but the impact is enormous.
Speaker A:In my work with couples, I start by asking them to spend about 20 minutes per day conversing about simple things like how their day went or what they've been thinking about.
Speaker A:I call this conversation the Daily Check In.
Speaker A:And here's the secret to making it work.
Speaker A:Partners must actively listen to each other.
Speaker A:That means genuinely paying attention, asking questions and showing interest, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
Speaker A:When couples start practicing these daily check ins, they quickly notice they feel more connected and closer to each other.
Speaker A:And that's just the beginning.
Speaker A:Once you get into the habit, it becomes easier to build on this foundation and keep the spark alive from years to come.
Speaker A:There's a lot more to the Magic six Hours than just the daily check in, but this is a great place to start.
Speaker A:Imagine how much closer you'd feel to your partner if you made this simple conversation a daily habit.
Speaker A:It's simple, but it's powerful.
Speaker A:So Those are the three essential steps to making marriage work.
Speaker A:Step 1 Control your anger because anger is the enemy of effective communication and connection.
Speaker A:Step 2 Learn to communicate effectively by focusing on understanding before being understood.
Speaker A:Step 3 practice the magic 6 hours by intentionally creating moments of connection each week.
Speaker A:If you put these steps into action, I have no doubt you'll build and maintain a strong, loving relationship for many years to come.
Speaker A:Okay, that's all for today's episode on the three Secrets to a Happy, Lasting Marriage.
Speaker A:If you found this episode helpful, please follow this podcast, head to your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review.
Speaker A:This will help other people struggling with anger find and benefit from this show.
Speaker A:Remember, for free support on your anger management journey, including free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website angersecrets.com or if you would like to control your anger once and for all, visit angersecrets.com course to learn more about the complete anger management system.
Speaker A:I look forward to helping you control your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
