Episode 122
122 - Control Your Anger, Transform Your Life
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Anger can be a powerful emotion, but when it gets out of control, it can cause serious damage. In this episode, we explore the hidden dangers of uncontrolled anger through the story of Joe, a man whose anger almost ruined his marriage and business.
Joe's journey shows how a single moment of realisation can change everything. He learns to master his emotions and finds peace, even as life throws challenges his way. This episode is all about understanding how to control anger and improve relationships for a happier life.
Key Takeaways:
- Anger is a strong emotion that can protect and motivate but also destroy lives.
- Unchecked anger can lead to devastating consequences, affecting relationships and happiness.
- Joe's story illustrates how uncontrolled anger can harm personal and professional life significantly.
- Learning to manage anger can transform your relationships, creating a calmer and happier environment.
- Recognising triggers and pausing before reacting are crucial steps in anger management.
- Mastering anger allows individuals to live more peacefully and enjoy their relationships more fully.
Links referenced in this episode:
For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.
To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/
Transcript
Anger is a powerful emotion.
Speaker A:It can protect, defend and motivate.
Speaker A:But when left unchecked, it can also destroy.
Speaker A:In fact, I have seen countless lives shattered because of one angry moment, often in a split second that changed everything.
Speaker A:In today's episode, we're diving deep into the hidden dangers of uncontrolled anger.
Speaker A:You'll hear the story of Joe, a man whose anger nearly cost him his marriage, business and happiness until one unexpected moment changed his life forever.
Speaker A:This episode isn't just about understanding anger.
Speaker A:It's about mastering it once and for all.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome to episode 122 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Alistair Dwes.
Speaker A:Over the last 30 years, I've taught over 15,000 men and women how to control their anger, master their emotions and build calmer, happier and more respectful relationships.
Speaker A:In this podcast, I share some of the same powerful tools and techniques that have helped my clients transform their lives.
Speaker A:For free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website, angersecrets.com I'd be honoured to support you in taking control of your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Now let's jump into today's Are you letting anger ruin your life?
Speaker A:Anger is a normal human emotion that we all experience from time to time.
Speaker A:But what happens when anger gets out of control?
Speaker A:Or when anger stops being a fleeting emotion and starts taking over your life?
Speaker A:As you may know, the consequences can be devastating.
Speaker A:One of the most heartbreaking examples of this happened with a man I'll call Joe.
Speaker A:Joe is a smart, successful businessman.
Speaker A:When I saw him, he was running a small construction company with his wife, Tracy.
Speaker A:But Joe's anger was a serious problem, even at work.
Speaker A:For example, when things didn't go his way at work, he'd often lose his temper.
Speaker A:He would shout, swear and verbally lash out at his staff.
Speaker A:And the saddest part, Joe knew the impact his behaviour had.
Speaker A:He could see the fear and discomfort in his employees faces.
Speaker A:But in those heated moments, his anger completely took over.
Speaker A:Joe's anger also affected Tracey.
Speaker A:She'd often step in whenever Joe's temper flared, gently trying to keep the peace.
Speaker A:But the more Tracey tried to intervene, the angrier Joe would get.
Speaker A:It created a vicious cycle that left Tracey feeling constantly stressed, having to manage Joe's outbursts while supporting their staff.
Speaker A:This dynamic went on for almost 30 years.
Speaker A:In this time, Joe and Tracy's business thrived.
Speaker A:But underneath the surface, the damage Joe's anger was doing was Growing.
Speaker A:Then one day, everything came to a head.
Speaker A:Joe lost his temper again.
Speaker A:But this time, unknown to Joe, his outburst was caught on a security camera.
Speaker A:Tracy, understandably, had had enough.
Speaker A:She saved the footage, waited a few days for Joe to cool off, and then showed it to him.
Speaker A:Joe was stunned.
Speaker A:He watched the footage in silence, his face pale.
Speaker A:He told me it was like watching a stranger, a man consumed by rage.
Speaker A:What shocked Joe the most was his staff's reaction.
Speaker A:He saw them flinch with fear in their eyes.
Speaker A:Joe was mortified.
Speaker A:He said, I couldn't believe it.
Speaker A:That's not how I saw myself.
Speaker A:But cameras don't lie.
Speaker A:He said, me, I couldn't believe it.
Speaker A:That's not how I saw myself.
Speaker A:But cameras don't lie.
Speaker A:For the first time, Joe truly saw the impact of his anger.
Speaker A:He saw how it hurt the people around him, how it poisoned his workplace, and how it was driving a wedge between him and Tracy.
Speaker A:That moment was his wake up call.
Speaker A:That is why Joe came to see me.
Speaker A:I want to control my anger, he said.
Speaker A:I can't keep doing this.
Speaker A:I don't want to be this person anymore.
Speaker A:I could see Joe was serious.
Speaker A:But to be honest, working with Joe wasn't easy.
Speaker A:Joe started off stubborn and opinionated.
Speaker A:He had strong beliefs about right and wrong and he wasn't shy about arguing them.
Speaker A:But that was part of the problem.
Speaker A:Joe was so focused on being right that he couldn't see the damage his anger was causing.
Speaker A:I said to him something he didn't want to hear.
Speaker A:It's not about being right, Joe.
Speaker A:It's about being calm.
Speaker A:It's about staying in control, even when things don't go your way.
Speaker A:It took time, but Joe started to get it.
Speaker A:He soon learned to recognise his triggers, pause before reacting and calm himself down.
Speaker A:I'll never forget the day he came to see me smiling.
Speaker A:I had an anger free week at work, he said, pride shining in his eyes.
Speaker A:That one week turned into a month and then another.
Speaker A:Joe's transformation was incredible.
Speaker A:Nothing Joe learned meant that he never got frustrated.
Speaker A:He did.
Speaker A:But now he knew how to handle it.
Speaker A:He learned to be mindful of his anger and de escalate it before it took over.
Speaker A:The impact was huge.
Speaker A:Joe's workplace became calmer, his staff felt safer, and Tracy could finally relax, no longer having to manage Joe's outbursts.
Speaker A:But that's not the end of this story.
Speaker A:Six months after our last session, Joe came to see me late one evening.
Speaker A:He looked upset and I braced myself, thinking he'd had another explosive episode at work.
Speaker A:But that wasn't the case.
Speaker A:Joe sat down and told me he'd been doing well.
Speaker A:He'd been pretty much anger free for six months, but his eyes were full of pain as he explained why he was really there.
Speaker A:Tracy had been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Speaker A:She didn't have much time left.
Speaker A:I didn't know what to say, but Joe did.
Speaker A:His voice shook as he told me, the last six months have been the best six months of our marriage.
Speaker A:He explained that because he'd learned to control his anger, Tracy had been able to relax.
Speaker A:She didn't have to worry about his outbursts anymore.
Speaker A:She could focus on herself, on her health, and on spending time with him.
Speaker A:They found peace.
Speaker A:They found joy.
Speaker A:Even as they faced the most challenging thing they'd ever gone through, they were closer than ever.
Speaker A:Joe's story to me, is very powerful.
Speaker A:It's a reminder of the impact anger can have and of the freedom that comes when you learn to control it.
Speaker A:By mastering his anger, Joe could give Tracy a gift beyond measure.
Speaker A:Peace of mind.
Speaker A:And he was able to give himself a gift, too.
Speaker A:The chance to spend those precious months truly present with the woman he loved.
Speaker A:If you struggle with anger, know change is possible.
Speaker A:No matter how long you've been stuck in the cycle or how hard it feels, you can break free.
Speaker A:You can learn to control your emotions and create a calmer, happier life.
Speaker A:And when you do, you'll find that the rewards are worth every bit of effort.
Speaker A:If Joe's story resonates with you, I am here to help.
Speaker A:Visit angersecrets.com for free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment.
Speaker A:Call with me.
Speaker A:Take that first step.
Speaker A:Don't let anger steal another moment of your life.
Speaker A:Okay, that's all for today's episode on the impact of unrestrained anger.
Speaker A:I hope that Joe's story has inspired you to take action and start working on controlling your anger.
Speaker A:If you found this episode helpful, please follow this podcast.
Speaker A:Head to your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review.
Speaker A:This will help other people struggling with anger find and benefit from the show.
Speaker A:Remember, for free support on your anger management journey, including free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment.
Speaker A:Call with me, visit my website, angersecrets.com or if you would like to control your anger once and for all, visit angersecrets.com course to learn more about the complete anger management system.
Speaker A:I look forward to helping you control your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
