Episode 206
206 - How Do I Know If I Have An Anger Issue?
For help controlling your anger, visit https://angersecrets.com/.
It wasn't that bad. Everyone gets angry sometimes. That is what most people tell themselves the morning after losing their temper, and it keeps the real question unanswered. In this episode, Alastair gives a straight answer: five clear signs your anger has crossed the line.
If you've ever gone from calm to furious in seconds, held onto anger for days, or said something to your partner or your kids that you regretted the moment it left your mouth, you're not alone. Most people never get a clear way to judge their own anger.
You'll learn why small triggers like a messy kitchen or a missed call are rarely the real cause, why anger that lingers is a warning sign for your physical health as well as your relationships, and why blaming other people for how you feel keeps you stuck.
Alastair also walks through three everyday situations, a criticised idea in a meeting, a spilled drink, and juice on the couch, so you can see what each sign looks like. But the most important point is this: anger issues are not a life sentence. They are a signal that something needs to change.
The Anger Secrets Podcast helps men and women master anger management, recognise the early signs of anger issues, build emotional self-control, and create calmer, happier relationships.
Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
Transcript
You lost your temper again last night and this morning.
Speaker A:You're telling yourself what you always tell yourself.
Speaker A:It wasn't that bad.
Speaker A:Everyone gets angry sometimes, but a quieter question keeps coming.
Speaker A:Is this normal?
Speaker A:Or do I actually have a problem?
Speaker A:If you've ever wondered that about yourself and never quite known how to answer it, this episode is for you.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome to episode 206 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Alistair Dewes, and over the last 30 years I've taught over 15,000 men and women how to control their anger, master their emotions, and build calmer, happier and more respectful relationships.
Speaker A:In this podcast, I share some of the same powerful tools and techniques that have helped my clients transform their lives.
Speaker A:For free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website, angasecrets.com I'd be honoured to support you in taking control of your anger when once and for all.
Speaker A:Now, let's jump into today's episode.
Speaker A:How do you know if you have anger issues?
Speaker A:Let's start with a reminder.
Speaker A:Everyone feels angry from time to time.
Speaker A:It's part of being human.
Speaker A:In fact, anger can even be helpful at times.
Speaker A:It can highlight when something is unfair, motivate you to stand up for yourself, or push you to make positive changes in your life.
Speaker A:But here's the Anger is an issue when it starts to hurt you or the people around you.
Speaker A:If you express your anger in unhealthy, destructive, or even violent ways, it's no longer just an emotion, it's a problem.
Speaker A:So how do you know if your anger is crossing the line?
Speaker A:Let's discuss five signs that indicate your anger is becoming an issue.
Speaker A:Sign one Your anger escalates quickly.
Speaker A:Do you find yourself going from calm to furious in seconds?
Speaker A:Maybe you're triggered by minor annoyances, a messy kitchen, a missed call, and you're shouting, slamming doors, or throwing things before you know it.
Speaker A:If your anger escalates rapidly, it can be a sign of underlying anger issues.
Speaker A:This is because small triggers are not usually the real cause of your anger.
Speaker A:Instead, they often act as catalysts for deeper emotions like frustration, fear, or hurt.
Speaker A:Your anger lasts longer than it should.
Speaker A:Healthy anger is temporary.
Speaker A:It comes and goes quickly.
Speaker A:You feel it in the moment, but can let it go soon after.
Speaker A:But if your anger lingers and festers long after the initial trigger has passed, it's a red flag that something deeper is going on.
Speaker A:Holding onto anger can negatively impact your mental and physical health over time.
Speaker A:Chronic anger can lead to high blood pressure, heart problems, and even depression.
Speaker A:So if you find yourself holding onto anger for days, weeks, or even months on end, it's time to address the underlying issues.
Speaker A:You blame others for your anger it's easy to point the finger at others when you feel angry, but constantly blaming others for your emotions is a sign that you may avoid taking responsibility for your actions and feelings.
Speaker A:Remember that no one can make you feel any particular way.
Speaker A:You can choose how you respond to situations and people around you.
Speaker A:If you constantly blame others for your anger, it's important to take a step back and examine your thoughts, emotions and reactions.
Speaker A:Your anger is hurting your relationships.
Speaker A:Have you ever said something in anger that you immediately regretted?
Speaker A:Maybe you've yelled at your partner, insulted a friend, or lashed out at your kids over something trivial?
Speaker A:Anger expressed in hurtful ways doesn't just cause temporary pain, it creates lasting damage.
Speaker A:It can lead to broken trust, resentment, and emotional distance in your most important relationships.
Speaker A:If your anger is causing problems in your relationships, it's time to take a closer look at what's really going on.
Speaker A:Your anger turns into abuse or violence.
Speaker A:This is a major red flag.
Speaker A:If your anger has ever led to physical or emotional abuse, whether towards others, yourself, or even objects, it's a sign that you have serious issues with anger management.
Speaker A:This type of behavior is unacceptable and can result in serious consequences for yourself and those around you.
Speaker A:To help understand these signs and get a better sense of your anger, lets look at some real world examples.
Speaker A:Imagine you're at work and a colleague criticizes your idea in a meeting.
Speaker A:Instead of responding calmly, you snap at them, creating tension in the office.
Speaker A:This is a sign that your anger escalates quickly and is causing issues in your professional relationships.
Speaker A:Or you're out with friends and someone accidentally spills a drink on you.
Speaker A:Instead of brushing it off, you hold on to the anger throughout the night, snapping at anyone who tries to talk to you.
Speaker A:This is indicative of your anger lingering longer than it should.
Speaker A:Finally, imagine you're at home and your child spills juice on the couch.
Speaker A:You explode, shouting harsh words that leave them in tears.
Speaker A:This is a sign that your anger hurts your relationships and is causing emotional damage to those you love.
Speaker A:In each of these situations, your anger may feel justified to you in the moment, but how you express it causes harm to your relationships, your mental and physical health, and to others.
Speaker A:If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, it's time to look closer at your anger.
Speaker A:But the good news is that there is hope in all this anger.
Speaker A:Issues aren't a life sentence, they're a signal, a wake up call that something needs to change.
Speaker A:With the right tools, support and commitment, you can learn to express your anger in healthier ways.
Speaker A:You can replace outbursts with calmness, resentment with understanding, and conflict with connection.
Speaker A:If any of these signs or examples resonate with you, don't wait.
Speaker A:Take action today to start understanding and addressing your anger issues.
Speaker A:You deserve a life free from the negative impacts of anger and it's never too late to make positive changes for yourself and those around you.
Speaker A:Thank you for joining me for today's episode of the Anger Secrets Podcast.
Speaker A:If today's topic resonated with you, take it as a sign that now is the time to take control of your anger.
Speaker A:Remember, anger itself isn't the problem, it's how you express it.
Speaker A:You can transform your life by recognizing the signs of problematic anger and addressing it.
Speaker A:If you found this episode helpful, please follow this podcast and and head over to your favourite podcast app and leave a quick rating and review.
Speaker A:This helps other people struggling with anger find and benefit from this show.
Speaker A:Remember too, for free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment.
Speaker A:Call with me, visit my website angersecrets.com or if you would like to control your anger once and for all, visit angersecrets.com course to learn more about my powerful online coaching program, the Complete Anger Management System.
Speaker A:I look forward to helping you control your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets Podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
