Episode 152
152 - 5 Excuses That Keep You Stuck in Anger
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Are you telling yourself you'll deal with your anger someday? In this compassionate yet eye-opening episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs breaks down the five most common reasons people avoid anger management — and why those reasons might be keeping you stuck.
If you're ready to stop making excuses and start changing your life, this episode is your wake-up call.
Key Takeaways:
-Believing “anger management won’t work” often stems from past disappointments — but the right tools can lead to real, lasting change.
-You don’t need years of therapy — just a few minutes a day with the right strategies can start to shift your reactions in as little as 21 days.
-Anger management is personal — and modern programs, like Alastair’s, combine universal principles with one-on-one support and coaching.
-The true cost of not dealing with your anger isn’t financial — it’s measured in broken trust, damaged relationships and missed opportunities.
-Even if you’re not tech-savvy, online anger programs are designed to be simple and accessible, with support every step of the way.
Links referenced in this episode:
angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Control Your Anger in 7 Days
angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System
Transcript
Let me ask you something.
Speaker A:How many times have you thought, I don't need help, I can handle this on my own?
Speaker A:Or how many times have you promised yourself, next time I'll stay calm, only to snap again a few days later?
Speaker A:And how many times have you told yourself you'll deal with your anger someday while the people you love keep living in fear of your outbursts?
Speaker A:Today, nobody wants to admit they struggle with anger.
Speaker A:Nobody wants to feel weak, vulnerable or ashamed.
Speaker A:But here's the Every day you delay, you are gambling with your marriage, your family and your future.
Speaker A:I only say this because I've seen it too many times.
Speaker A:Husbands who thought they had it under control until their wives walked out.
Speaker A:Fathers who thought they'd figure it out until their kids stopped trusting them.
Speaker A:Women who lose their temper at their kids and in the process hurt the people they love the most.
Speaker A:So if you're here listening right now, that tells me something powerful.
Speaker A:Deep down, you know you can't keep waiting.
Speaker A:You're ready to face this.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome to episode 152 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Alistair Dewes, and for over 30 years I've taught thousands of men and women who, just like you, wanted to control their anger, take responsibility for their actions, and build calmer, happier and more loving relationships.
Speaker A:If you want help right now to manage your anger, including a powerful live training on how to break the anger cycle, head over to my website, angersecrets.com.
Speaker A:there's a link there to access that live training.
Speaker A:Or if you'd like to chat personally with me about your situation, you can also book a free 30 minute anger assessment call with me.
Speaker A:I look forward to talking with you.
Speaker A:Okay, with that said, in today's episode, I'm going to share the five most common reasons people give for avoiding anger management and why each of them is just another story keeping you stuck.
Speaker A:By the end of this episode, you'll see why the bravest, wisest step you can take is not putting it off any longer.
Speaker A:Reason 1 It won't work the first reason people give me for not doing an anger management program is it won't work for me.
Speaker A:Often these are people who've tried to control their anger in the past, maybe through counselling, therapy, or even a group course, and they didn't get the results they hoped for.
Speaker A:Others believe their anger is too deep to change.
Speaker A:They think they're hardwired to be angry, or that because they grew up in a household filled with anger, abuse or violence, nothing can make a Difference.
Speaker A:I get this.
Speaker A:It's normal to doubt whether change is possible, especially if past attempts haven't worked.
Speaker A:The truth is, not every counsellor or therapist has specific training in anger management.
Speaker A:Some don't teach the practical tools that really help in the moment, which can leave people feeling frustrated.
Speaker A:But here's what I can tell you.
Speaker A:After teaching more than 15,000 people over 30, change is possible.
Speaker A:The right program with the right tools can help anyone learn to control their anger.
Speaker A:And it doesn't require years of therapy, just clear, practical strategies you can use every day.
Speaker A:So if you've ever worried that anger management won't work, my encouragement?
Speaker A:Give it another chance.
Speaker A:With proven tools, you'll likely be surprised at how quickly you start to notice results.
Speaker A:Reason 2 It's not personal Enough the second reason people often avoid anger management programs is is that they think it won't be personal enough.
Speaker A:They say my situation is different, a program can't possibly understand me, I need one on one help.
Speaker A:And yes, everyone's story is unique.
Speaker A:But the principles of anger management are universal awareness, calming yourself down before things escalate, understanding the real triggers behind anger, communicating in calmer, more respectful ways.
Speaker A:These skills apply to everyone, no matter your background or situation.
Speaker A:And here's the good Many modern anger management programs blend those universal tools with personal support.
Speaker A:For example, my clients don't just get access to my course material, they also join weekly coaching sessions with me, connect in a private community and can reach out for help by email or text anytime.
Speaker A:So if you've been holding back because you worry it won't be personal enough, think again.
Speaker A:The best programs are designed to combine universal skills with personalised guidance so you get exactly the help you need.
Speaker A:Reason 3 It will take Too long Another common reason people avoid anger management programs is time.
Speaker A:They imagine anger management will take months or years, and with busy lives, that feels overwhelming.
Speaker A:But the truth is, effective programs don't have to take long at all.
Speaker A:In fact, I tell all my clients, if you can commit just 10 minutes a day, you'll see noticeable changes in as little as 21 days.
Speaker A:How is that possible?
Speaker A:It's possible because you're not just talking about anger, you're learning practical, hands on tools you can use right away.
Speaker A:The moment you practise them, you start building new habits.
Speaker A:And once those tools become second nature, they'll keep working for you in any situation.
Speaker A:So don't let time be the excuse.
Speaker A:A few minutes a day now can save you years of regret later.
Speaker A:Reason 4 It's too expensive.
Speaker A:Cost is Another big reason people avoid anger management programs.
Speaker A:They say, I can't afford it.
Speaker A:But think about the real cost of not learning to control your anger.
Speaker A:What's the cost of a broken marriage?
Speaker A:Of children who grow up afraid of you, of losing a job or facing legal consequences because of an outburst?
Speaker A:When you look at it that way, investing in anger management is small compared to the damage uncontrolled anger can cause.
Speaker A:And these days, there are more affordable options than ever, including online programs such as mine that cost far less than years of therapy.
Speaker A:Few things are as valuable as creating calmer, happier, more loving relationships with the people you care about most.
Speaker A:That's a return on investment you simply can't put a price on.
Speaker A:I'm not good with technology finally, one of the most common reasons I hear for avoiding online anger management is fear of technology.
Speaker A:People say, I'm not good with computers.
Speaker A:I wouldn't even know where to start.
Speaker A:But in reality, most modern programs are designed to be simple.
Speaker A:If you can check your email, enter a password, or click a button to watch a video, you already have the skills you need.
Speaker A:And if you do run into trouble, there's usually support to guide you step by step.
Speaker A:In my program, for example, I make sure every client can easily access the material and get help whenever they need it.
Speaker A:So don't let technology hold you back.
Speaker A:The tools are simple, and once you take that first step, you'll wonder why you hesitated.
Speaker A:So those are the five most common reasons people avoid anger management programs.
Speaker A:Believing it won't work, worrying it won't feel personal, thinking it takes too long, fearing it's too expensive, or feeling intimidated by technology.
Speaker A:And while all of these reasons are understandable, none of them should stop you.
Speaker A:Because the real cost of waiting, the broken trust, the damaged relationships, the regret is far greater than the cost of getting help.
Speaker A:The truth is, you can control your anger.
Speaker A:And when you do, every part of your life gets better.
Speaker A:Okay, there you have it.
Speaker A:Five common reasons people give for not wanting to do an anger management program.
Speaker A:If this episode was helpful for you, hit that follow button and maybe leave a quick review.
Speaker A:It helps others find the podcast, and it might be the exact thing someone else needs to hear today.
Speaker A:Also, don't forget to share this episode with a friend or loved one who might benefit from it.
Speaker A:Together, we can create a calmer, happier world and help each other grow.
Speaker A:And if you're ready to get serious about changing how you show up in your relationship, take a look at the complete anger management system@AngerSecrets.com course and finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy, or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
