Episode 128
128 - Master Your Anger: 3 Game-Changing Strategies
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Anger doesn’t have to control you, and it definitely shouldn’t ruin your relationships. In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three key strategies to help manage anger effectively.
These strategies have transformed the lives of many, promoting healthier relationships and a calmer, happier mindset. Tune in to discover how you can take charge of your emotions and create lasting change in your life.
Key Takeaways:
- Anger is a normal human emotion that serves a purpose, but managing it is key.
- Recognising early warning signs of anger can help prevent escalation in conflicts.
- Using positive self-talk can significantly change how one reacts when feeling angry.
- Challenging and changing core beliefs that fuel anger can lead to healthier relationships.
- Taking proactive steps, like deep breathing or walking, can help de-escalate anger effectively.
- These strategies aim to create lasting change for calmer and happier relationships.
Links referenced in this episode:
For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.
To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.
Transcript
Picture you're in the middle of an argument, your heart's racing, your fists are clenched, and before you know it, the words are out of your mouth.
Speaker A:Sharp, hurtful words you can't take back.
Speaker A:You see the hurt flash across their face and instantly the guilt crashes down on you.
Speaker A:You didn't mean it.
Speaker A:You never do.
Speaker A:But once again, your anger got the best of you, leaving you feeling ashamed, isolated and powerless to change.
Speaker A:If you're tired of this anger cycle and ready to take control, then you need to listen to today's episode.
Speaker A:Anger doesn't have to control you and it doesn't have to damage the relationships you care about most.
Speaker A:In today's episode, I'll share three game changing strategies that have helped thousands of my clients manage their anger and transform their relationships and lives.
Speaker A:Hello and welcome to episode 128 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Alistair Dues.
Speaker A:Over the last 30 years, I've taught over 15,000 men and women how to control their anger, master their emotions and build calmer, happier and more respectful relationships.
Speaker A:In this podcast, I share some of the same powerful tools and techniques that have helped my clients transform their lives.
Speaker A:For free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website, angersecrets.com I'd be honoured to support you in taking control of your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Now, let's jump into today's episode.
Speaker A:Why you keep getting angry.
Speaker A:First off, let's clarify that anger is a normal human emotion.
Speaker A:It serves a purpose.
Speaker A:It lets us know when something isn't right, when our boundaries are crossed, or when we need to stand up for ourselves.
Speaker A:But the key is to manage anger so it doesn't take over your life or or damage your relationships.
Speaker A:It's about staying in control even when emotions run high.
Speaker A:How exactly do you do that?
Speaker A:Let's explore my top three strategies for controlling anger.
Speaker A:These strategies have helped thousands of people just like you regain control and build healthier, happier relationships.
Speaker A:Strategy 1 recognize your early warning signs of anger.
Speaker A:Have you ever found yourself suddenly snapping at someone only to wonder, where did that come from?
Speaker A:Well, anger doesn't just appear out of nowhere.
Speaker A:It builds up gradually.
Speaker A:And if you know what to look for, you can catch it before it gets out of hand.
Speaker A:Your early warning signs of anger are the physical, behavioural, mental and emotional clues that let you know your anger is starting to rise.
Speaker A:These signs might include feelings of tension, a racing heartbeat, clenched fists or jaw Raising your voice, or even feeling unusually irritable.
Speaker A:One of the most powerful steps to controlling your anger is simply recognizing these signs before things escalate.
Speaker A:Imagine catching yourself clenching your fists or noticing your heart racing.
Speaker A:That's your cue.
Speaker A:It's like an internal alarm bell that tells you it's time to take action before your anger takes over.
Speaker A:So what can you do once you recognize these signs?
Speaker A:Simple actions can make a big difference.
Speaker A:Take a few deep breaths.
Speaker A:Take a quick walk to clear your head, or consciously shift your thoughts from negative or aggressive to more positive, constructive ones.
Speaker A:This isn't about pretending everything's fine or suppressing your anger.
Speaker A:It's about taking proactive steps to lower your anger before it becomes problematic.
Speaker A:Use positive self talk to de escalate your anger.
Speaker A:Okay, so you've recognized your early warning signs of anger.
Speaker A:What's next?
Speaker A:It's time to talk yourself down.
Speaker A:Literally.
Speaker A:One of the most effective tools for managing anger is positive self talk.
Speaker A:When you're angry, your mind often gets flooded with negative, unhelpful thoughts.
Speaker A:Maybe you're thinking, I can't take this anymore or this always happens to me.
Speaker A:But here's the thing.
Speaker A:Those thoughts only fuel your anger and make things worse.
Speaker A:Instead, try challenging those thoughts with positive self talk.
Speaker A:For example, if you're arguing with your partner and you catch yourself thinking, I can't handle this, switch it to I can stay calm and in control.
Speaker A:Or if you're feeling like a victim with thoughts like this always happens to me, reframe it as I can.
Speaker A:Find a way to work through this.
Speaker A:Other examples of positive self talk that can help de escalate your anger.
Speaker A:I can handle this.
Speaker A:I don't need to react to this.
Speaker A:I will stay calm.
Speaker A:It's time to take a deep breath and relax or things will be okay.
Speaker A:The more you practice this, the more automatic it becomes.
Speaker A:You're rewiring your brain to respond more calmly to anger triggers.
Speaker A:Identify the beliefs that lead to anger.
Speaker A:Here's a powerful insight about anger.
Speaker A:It's not the events that happen to you in life that make you angry.
Speaker A:It's your thoughts about those events.
Speaker A:And those thoughts are shaped by your underlying beliefs and values about yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.
Speaker A:For example, think about the last time you got really angry.
Speaker A:What was going through your mind?
Speaker A:Chances are it wasn't just about what was happening.
Speaker A:It was about what you believed.
Speaker A:It meant some common beliefs that lead to anger.
Speaker A:I must be right.
Speaker A:Others must treat me a certain way.
Speaker A:I have to be perfect.
Speaker A:If someone hurts me I must hurt them back or life should be fair.
Speaker A:Here's why this if you believe that you must always be right, then any disagreement feels like a personal attack.
Speaker A:If you believe that life should always be fair, then any perceived injustice feels unbearable.
Speaker A:But here's the good news.
Speaker A:You can challenge and replace these beliefs with more helpful ones.
Speaker A:For example, if you believe I must be right, try replacing it with I don't have all the answers and that's okay.
Speaker A:Or if you believe if someone hurts me, I must hurt them back, try thinking it's okay to forgive people who have hurt me.
Speaker A:This isn't about denying your feelings or letting people walk all over you.
Speaker A:It's about seeing things differently so that anger doesn't control you.
Speaker A:Changing these core beliefs isn't always easy.
Speaker A:It takes consistent effort and practice.
Speaker A:But the payoff is huge.
Speaker A:Better control over your anger and healthier relationships.
Speaker A:So there you have it.
Speaker A:Three powerful strategies to stop anger from controlling your life.
Speaker A:First, recognize your early warning signs of anger so you can take action before things escalate.
Speaker A:Second, use positive self talk to de escalate your anger and stay in control of your emotions.
Speaker A:Third, identify and challenge the beliefs that fuel your anger, replacing them with more helpful perspectives.
Speaker A:These strategies aren't just about managing anger in the moment, they're about creating lasting change so you can build calmer, happier and more loving relationships.
Speaker A:That's all for today's episode.
Speaker A:If you found this episode helpful, please follow this podcast.
Speaker A:Head to your favorite podcast app and leave a rating and review.
Speaker A:This will help other people struggling with anger.
Speaker A:Find and benefit from this show.
Speaker A:Remember, for free support on your anger management journey, including free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment.
Speaker A:Call with me, visit my website angersecrets.com or if you would like to control your anger once and for all.
Speaker A:Visit angersecrets.com course to learn more about the complete anger management system.
Speaker A:I look forward to helping you control your anger while once and for all.
Speaker A:Finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Speaker A:I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
