Episode 113
113 - Do You Have Anger Issues?
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Does anger affects your relationships, your family or your well-being? How do you know if you have an anger issue? If so, you are not alone.
Learn the signs that indicate your anger may be crossing a line into problematic territory. Host Alastair Duhs shares key insights on how to recognise unhealthy expressions of anger, such as quick escalations, prolonged resentment and harmful impacts on your loved ones.
By understanding these signs, you can take actionable steps towards managing your anger more effectively. Join Alastair as he offers practical tools and techniques to help you regain control of your anger and foster healthier, happier connections in your life.
Key Takeaways:
- Anger is a normal human emotion, but it becomes problematic when it harms relationships.
- If your anger escalates quickly over minor annoyances, it may indicate deeper issues.
- Chronic anger can lead to serious health problems like high blood pressure and depression.
- Blaming others for your anger shows a lack of personal responsibility for your emotions.
- Healthy anger is temporary; if it lingers, it’s a sign to seek deeper understanding.
- Recognising the signs of anger issues is the first step toward healthier emotional expression.
Links referenced in this episode:
For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.
To learn more about The Complete Anger Management System, visit angersecrets.com/course/.
Transcript
Do you feel like your anger gets the best of you?
Alistair Dewes:Maybe it's a sudden outburst that leaves you regretting something you've said, or a slow simmer of frustration that builds until you just can't hold it in anymore.
Alistair Dewes:Or perhaps you find yourself snapping at the people you love, losing your temper over small things, or feeling like you're walking around with a short fuse, ready to ignite.
Alistair Dewes:And at any moment, if this sounds familiar, you might be asking yourself, do I have anger issues?
Alistair Dewes:Now, before I answer this question, here's the truth.
Alistair Dewes:If you think you have anger issues, you are not alone.
Alistair Dewes:Anger is a normal human emotion.
Alistair Dewes:It's part of how we're wired.
Alistair Dewes:But if your anger starts spilling over into your relationships, your work, or even your health, it's time to ask some hard questions.
Alistair Dewes:In this episode, I'll break down what it means to have anger issues, the hidden reasons behind them, and the first steps you can take to regain control of your emotions.
Alistair Dewes:Whether you've been battling anger for years or are just starting to notice it's becoming a problem, this episode is for you.
Alistair Dewes:Hello and welcome to episode 113 of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Alistair Dewes:I'm your host, Alistair Dewes, and over the last 30 years, I've taught over 15,000 men and women how to control their anger, master their emotions, and build calmer, happier and more respectful relationships.
Alistair Dewes:In this podcast, I share some of the same powerful tools and techniques that have helped my clients transform their lives.
Alistair Dewes:For free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment, call with me, visit my website, angersecrets.com I'd be honoured to support you in taking control of your anger once and for all.
Alistair Dewes:Now, let's jump into today's episode.
Alistair Dewes:Do you have anger issues?
Alistair Dewes:Let's start with a reminder.
Alistair Dewes:Everyone feels angry from time to time.
Alistair Dewes:It's part of being human.
Alistair Dewes:In fact, anger can even be helpful at times.
Alistair Dewes:It can highlight when something is unfair, motivate you to stand up for yourself, or push you to make positive changes in your life.
Alistair Dewes:But here's the key.
Alistair Dewes:Anger is an issue when it starts to hurt you or the people around you.
Alistair Dewes:If you express your anger in unhealthy, destructive, or even violent ways, it's no longer just an emotion, it's a problem.
Alistair Dewes:So how do you know if your anger is crossing the line?
Alistair Dewes:Let's discuss five signs that indicate your anger is becoming an issue.
Alistair Dewes:Sign 1.
Alistair Dewes:Your anger escalates quickly.
Alistair Dewes:Do you find yourself going from calm to Furious in seconds.
Alistair Dewes:Maybe you're triggered by minor annoyances.
Alistair Dewes:A messy kitchen, a missed call and you're shouting, slamming doors or throwing things before you know it.
Alistair Dewes:If your anger escalates rapidly, it can be a sign of underlying anger issues.
Alistair Dewes:This is because small triggers are not usually the real cause of your anger.
Alistair Dewes:Instead, they often act as catalysts for deeper emotions like frustration, fear or hurt.
Alistair Dewes:Sign 2 you, anger lasts longer than it should.
Alistair Dewes:Healthy anger is temporary.
Alistair Dewes:It comes and goes quickly.
Alistair Dewes:You feel it in the moment, but can let it go soon after.
Alistair Dewes:But if your anger lingers and festers long after the initial trigger has passed, it's a red flag that something deeper is going on.
Alistair Dewes:Holding onto anger can negatively impact your mental and physical health over time.
Alistair Dewes:Chronic anger can lead to high blood pressure, heart problems and even depression.
Alistair Dewes:So if you find yourself holding onto anger for days, weeks or even months on end, it's time to address the underlying issues.
Alistair Dewes:You blame others for your anger.
Alistair Dewes:It's easy to point the finger at others when you feel angry.
Alistair Dewes:But constantly blaming others for your emotions is a sign that you may avoid taking responsibility for your actions and feelings.
Alistair Dewes:Remember that no one can make you feel any particular way.
Alistair Dewes:You can choose how you respond to situations and people around you.
Alistair Dewes:If you constantly blame others for your anger, it's important to take a step back and examine your thoughts, emotions and reactions.
Alistair Dewes:Sign 4 your anger is hurting your relationships.
Alistair Dewes:Have you ever said something in anger that you immediately regretted?
Alistair Dewes:Maybe you've yelled at your partner, insulted a friend or lashed out at your kids over something trivial?
Alistair Dewes:Anger expressed in hurtful ways doesn't just cause temporary pain, it creates lasting damage.
Alistair Dewes:It can lead to broken trust, resentment and emotional distance in your most important relationships.
Alistair Dewes:If your anger is causing problems in your relationships, it's time to take a closer look at what's really going on.
Alistair Dewes:You Anger turns into abuse or violence.
Alistair Dewes:This is a major red flag.
Alistair Dewes:If your anger has ever led to physical or emotional abuse, whether towards others, yourself or even objects, it's a sign that you have serious issues with anger management.
Alistair Dewes:This type of behaviour is unacceptable and can result in serious consequences for yourself and those around you.
Alistair Dewes:To help understand these signs and get a better sense of your anger, let's look at some real world examples.
Alistair Dewes:Imagine you're at work and a colleague criticises your idea in a meeting.
Alistair Dewes:Instead of responding calmly, you snap at them, creating tension in the office.
Alistair Dewes:This is a sign that your anger escalates quickly and is causing issues in your professional relationships or you're out with friends and someone accidentally spills a drink on you instead of brushing it off.
Alistair Dewes:You hold on to the anger throughout the night, snapping at anyone who tries to talk to you.
Alistair Dewes:This is indicative of your anger lingering longer than it should.
Alistair Dewes:Finally, imagine you're at home and your child spills juice on the couch.
Alistair Dewes:You explode, shouting harsh words that leave them in tears.
Alistair Dewes:This is a sign that your anger hurts your relationships and is causing emotional damage to those you love.
Alistair Dewes:In each of these situations, your anger may feel justified to you in the moment, but how you express it causes harm to your relationships, your mental and physical health, and to others.
Alistair Dewes:If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, it's time to look closer at your anger.
Alistair Dewes:But the good news is that there is hope in all this.
Alistair Dewes:Anger issues aren't a life sentence, they're a signal, a wake up call that something needs to change.
Alistair Dewes:With the right tools, support and commitment, you can learn to express your anger in healthier ways.
Alistair Dewes:You can replace outbursts with calmness, resentment with understanding, and conflict with connection.
Alistair Dewes:If any of these signs or examples resonate with you, don't wait.
Alistair Dewes:Take action today to start understanding and addressing your anger issues.
Alistair Dewes:You deserve a life free from the negative impacts of anger and it's never too late to make positive changes for yourself and those around you.
Alistair Dewes:Thank you for joining me for today's episode of the Anger Secrets podcast.
Alistair Dewes:If today's topic resonated with you, take it as a sign that now is the time to take control of your anger.
Alistair Dewes:Remember, anger itself isn't the problem, it's how you express it.
Alistair Dewes:You can transform your life by recognising the signs of problematic anger and addressing it.
Alistair Dewes:If you found this episode helpful, please follow this podcast and head over to your favourite podcast app and leave a quick rating and review.
Alistair Dewes:This helps other people struggling with anger find and benefit from this show.
Alistair Dewes:Remember too, for free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment.
Alistair Dewes:Call with me, visit my website angersecrets.com or if you would like to control your anger once and for all, visit angersecrets.com course to learn more about my powerful online coaching program, the Complete Anger Management System.
Alistair Dewes:I look forward to helping you control your anger once and for all.
Alistair Dewes:Finally, remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Alistair Dewes:I'll see you in the next episode.
Alistair Dewes:Take care.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets Podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy or any other professional health service no therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.