Episode 111
111 - Mastering Anger in The Workplace: 3 Key Strategies You Need
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com. Workplace anger is a pervasive issue, affecting approximately one in five American workers daily. With the pressures of tight deadlines, demanding schedules, and diverse personalities, it's no surprise that conflicts arise in professional settings.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs offers listeners concrete strategies to manage anger effectively in the workplace. The episode emphasises three key strategies: taking a brief pause before reacting, reframing the situation and practicing clear communication.
These techniques not only help individuals control their immediate reactions but also foster a more positive work environment.
By sharing relatable examples and practical tools, Alastair equips listeners with the skills necessary to navigate workplace challenges while maintaining professionalism and emotional balance.
The episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to enhance their emotional intelligence and improve their workplace relationships.
Key Takeaways:
- One in five American workers regularly experience anger at work, making it a common issue.
- Taking a 10-second pause before reacting can help you respond calmly instead of impulsively.
- Reframing situations helps to manage anger by shifting focus from frustrations to understanding.
- Practicing clear communication skills can prevent misunderstandings and reduce workplace conflict effectively.
- The desk model emphasises describing situations, expressing feelings, stating needs, and explaining consequences.
- Recognising that your thoughts, not the situation itself, cause anger can transform your responses.
Links referenced in this episode:
For more information (and FREE resources) of how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
For a FREE training on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com/training/.
Transcript
Do you ever find yourself frustrated or angry at work?
Alistair Dewes:Whether it's due to a challenging project, a difficult colleague, or a demanding schedule, do you wish you had better tools to handle workplace stress and maintain your professionalism even when tensions run high?
Alistair Dewes:If so, this episode of the Anger Secrets podcast is for you.
Alistair Dewes:Hello and welcome to episode 111 of the Anger Secrets Podcast.
Alistair Dewes:I'm your host, Alistair Dewes.
Alistair Dewes:Over the last 30 years, I've taught more than 15,000 men and women to control their anger, master their emotions, and create calmer, happier and more respectful relationships.
Alistair Dewes:In this podcast, I share the same proven tools and techniques that have transformed the lives of my clients, helping them to control their anger and improve their relationships.
Alistair Dewes:For free support on your anger management journey, including a free training and the opportunity to book a free 30 minute anger assessment call with me, visit my website at angersecrets.com I'd be honoured to support you in taking control of your anger once and for all.
Alistair Dewes:Today's episode is all about how to control anger in the workplace.
Alistair Dewes:Let's start with a statistic that may surprise you.
Alistair Dewes:According to the American Psychological association, one in five American workers report experiencing anger at work regularly.
Alistair Dewes:That's right, 20% of workers are dealing with anger and frustration in the workplace every single day.
Alistair Dewes:So why is this such a common issue?
Alistair Dewes:For starters, most of us spend a significant portion of our lives at work.
Alistair Dewes:And when you combine long hours, tight deadlines and high pressure situations with different personalities and communication styles, it's no wonder that conflict and tensions arise.
Alistair Dewes:But here's the thing.
Alistair Dewes:Expressing anger in the workplace doesn't just affect you.
Alistair Dewes:It also affects everyone around you.
Alistair Dewes:Whether it's through angry outbursts, heated arguments, passive aggressive behavior, or simply a tense and uncomfortable work environment, unmanaged anger can have serious consequences for team dynamics and overall productivity.
Alistair Dewes:So what can you do to manage your anger in the workplace?
Alistair Dewes:Here are three key strategies.
Alistair Dewes:While these strategies may seem simple, they can be very effective when implemented consistently.
Alistair Dewes:If you need further help controlling your anger, book a free 30 minute anger assessment call with me through my website, angersecrets.com in this call, we can discuss your specific situation and devise a tailored coaching plan to help you control your anger in just a few weeks or less.
Alistair Dewes:Having said that, let's look at these three simple strategies to manage your anger at work.
Alistair Dewes:Strategy 1 Take a 10 second pause before reacting to any situation.
Alistair Dewes:When you feel your anger building, pausing before you react to the situation is almost always helpful.
Alistair Dewes:A simple way to do this is to count to 10 slowly, breathing deeply with each count.
Alistair Dewes:This strategy gives you a few moments to process your feelings, helping you to respond calmly to the situation instead of reacting in the heat of the moment.
Alistair Dewes:Taking a 10 second pause is particularly effective in meetings or discussions where emotions are running high.
Alistair Dewes:It creates a buffer zone between an event happening and your response to this event, giving you the time to think about your response rather than reacting impulsively.
Alistair Dewes:Strategy two is to Reframe the Situation the second strategy to manage your anger at work is to reframe the situation you are responding to.
Alistair Dewes:As I have said in many previous podcast episodes, it is never the situation you are in that causes your anger.
Alistair Dewes:Instead, it is how you think about the situation you are in that causes your anger.
Alistair Dewes:So if you are feeling angry at work, instead of focusing on what you find frustrating, try to shift your perspective to what is happening to you.
Alistair Dewes:For example, if you are dealing with a difficult colleague, instead of thinking of them as difficult or challenging, try to understand why they behave the way they do.
Alistair Dewes:They may be just as stressed out as you are and don't know how to express it constructively.
Alistair Dewes:Another example is that if you are dealing with a boss that you find overly demanding, instead of resenting their expectations, you could see the situation as an opportunity to test yourself or as an opportunity to practise clear communication skills.
Alistair Dewes:Keep a sense of perspective about the situation and remember that no matter what is happening around you or how difficult the situation is, you always have options regarding how to respond to it.
Alistair Dewes:It is up to you to choose the most useful, constructive and professional response.
Alistair Dewes:Strategy three is to practise clear communication the third strategy to manage your anger at work is to practise clear communication skills.
Alistair Dewes:Communication breakdowns are often at the heart of workplace anger.
Alistair Dewes:Feeling like your needs or expectations are not being met can lead to frustration and resentment.
Alistair Dewes:That's why it's essential to communicate clearly with your colleagues, managers and team members.
Alistair Dewes:As you will know, some ways of communicating are better than others.
Alistair Dewes:For example, avoid confrontational or accusatory language.
Alistair Dewes:Instead, use I statements to express how you feel in a given situation.
Alistair Dewes:This approach can help prevent misunderstandings and defensiveness from the other person.
Alistair Dewes:Another powerful way to communicate your needs and wants in a workplace setting is to use the desk model.
Alistair Dewes:This is a powerful model for communicating effectively with others.
Alistair Dewes:I have described this model in more detail in episode 78 of this podcast, but for those who want a short review, the desk model stands for D.
Alistair Dewes:Describe the situation or behaviour that's causing you frustration.
Alistair Dewes:E.
Alistair Dewes:Express how you feel about it, s state what you need to happen in order to resolve this issue and c Consequences Explain the positive consequences of meeting your needs.
Alistair Dewes:For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed with your workload, instead of bottling up your frustration and risking exploding at a later time, use the desk model to communicate with your manager.
Alistair Dewes:You may express how you feel about the situation by saying something like I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed with my current workload.
Alistair Dewes:They need more support or resources to meet my deadlines.
Alistair Dewes:This will help me meet my targets and contribute to the team's success.
Alistair Dewes:The key in the desk model is to be clear, specific and direct with your communication.
Alistair Dewes:This allows others to understand your perspective and work towards a solution together.
Alistair Dewes:I hope that at least one of these strategies is helpful to you.
Alistair Dewes:Remember, the ability to recognize, understand and control your anger is an essential skill in any workplace.
Alistair Dewes:Finally, let's look at an example of someone who learned to manage their anger effectively at work.
Alistair Dewes:Let's call this person Tom.
Alistair Dewes:Tom often felt frustrated in his team meetings, especially when his ideas weren't being acknowledged.
Alistair Dewes:He frequently snapped at his colleagues and sometimes even felt resentment that carried into his personal life.
Alistair Dewes:After learning more about anger management, Tom started practising taking a 10 second pause and reframing his thoughts.
Alistair Dewes:One particular concept that was helpful for Tom was the idea that it was his thoughts, not the situation itself, that was causing his anger.
Alistair Dewes:Tom started to apply this idea at work by remembering that his colleagues weren't intentionally ignoring his ideas, but instead they had their own perspectives and priorities.
Alistair Dewes:This helped him to communicate more effectively with them and address issues directly.
Alistair Dewes:With these strategies, Tom was able to improve his relationships with his colleagues and reduce conflict in the workplace.
Alistair Dewes:He also found himself feeling less stressed and more confident in expressing his ideas.
Alistair Dewes:Overall, Tom's new approach to managing anger improved his work life and contributed to a more positive and productive team dynamic.
Alistair Dewes:Okay, I hope this episode on managing anger in the workplace has been useful.
Alistair Dewes:If anger is an issue for you or if it is affecting your life or the lives of anyone around you in any way, I can help.
Alistair Dewes:I offer a comprehensive online anger management coaching program that delivers concrete anger management results to people in just a few weeks or less.
Alistair Dewes:In addition, on my website angersecrets.com you can access free anger management training or book a free 30 minute anger assessment call with me.
Alistair Dewes:In this call, we can discuss your specific situation and assess if I can help you control your anger once and for all.
Alistair Dewes:Okay, thanks for listening to this episode and remember, you can't control other people, but you can control yourself.
Alistair Dewes:Take care and I'll see you in the next episode.
Speaker B:The Anger Secrets podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of counseling, psychotherapy, or any other professional health service.
Speaker B:No therapeutic relationship is implied or created by this podcast.
Speaker B:If you have mental health concerns of any type, please seek out the help of a local mental health professional.
